Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Randomize
