before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
