It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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