What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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