to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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