I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So many bounce houses so little time
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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