Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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