Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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