Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
