I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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