I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
