So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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