i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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