You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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