Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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