one might say we're banned from that church
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize