that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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