Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
