I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
