My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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