don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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