Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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