So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
