I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
