1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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