It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
