I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
