You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
