i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
