I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize