69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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