Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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