FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
