Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize