pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
