Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
