I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
