So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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