Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
