C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
