Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
