She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
