we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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