So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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