i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
