Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
