I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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