Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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