we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
