those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
