My balls are so social today.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
