I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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