My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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