before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
