i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
