You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So squirting runs in the family.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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