We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
