its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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