Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
