C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
