operation harelip BJ is a go
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
