sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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