Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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