He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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