Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
