I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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